SOTA c01s02
Text Ponyville: a beautiful small town that sat at the edge of the Everfree Forest, surrounded by rolling fields... and protected by enormous walls and guards. The Equestria they lived in, after all, was rougher than the Equestria of decades past now. But the town was as friendly as ever, and while the walls stood protectively around the village, the gates were almost always open, and the farms and small homes that sat outside the safety of the walls enjoyed the same bounty they always had. Nature was good to them, and ponies still took care of each other here... no, all the people here, pony and otherwise, took care of and watched out for each other. That was a large part of why they lived in such safety and plenty... although it certainly helped there were ponies like Celestia, Luna, and Sleipnir watching out for them, too. And right now, there was quite a hubbub in the little town: ponies were heading for the library and knots of not only local townsfolk, but people from as far away as the Northern Barony were here. Masked guards covered from head-to-hoof in beautiful golden plate mail patrolled calmly around the square, next to ponies wearing lighter blue armor: Yamato Elite and Starlit Knights. Usually they were on much-more important duties than this... but Equestria had enjoyed a comfortable peace for the last few years, and there wasn't much to do apart from keeping an eye on things. The outside of the library was getting quickly busier, and people were even crowding up against the windows, trying to peer inside, while others were standing around, side-to-side with not just ponies but other races, like the Nibelung: half-wolf, half-pig dwarves, with dark fur and large tusks standing out of their muzzles, short and squat but standing on two legs and possessing dexterous hands. A common sight around Equestria... although less common were things like the demons that also calmly mingled with the crowd, making many of the out-of-towners stare, although most of the inhabitants of Ponyville were well-used to their presence by now. Inside the library it was just as crowded: around the back wall by the open door were ponies with cameras and notepads, many of them already eagerly scribbling notes, while the next few rows of ponies were nobles, officials, other important people. And at the front, there were rows and rows of familiar faces... and the only reason Scrivener could face this audience at all was because he was able to look at all the people he'd gotten to know, all the friends he and Luna had made, and understand how fortunate he was. Even if, at the same time, he was all too aware of the faces that weren't there in the crowd, either... of everything that had been lost. But if anything, that only made him even more determined, as he cleared his throat and looked back and forth for support. Luna smiled at him encouragingly from one side of the room, however, and Twilight nodded firmly from the other, and Scrivener nodded a bit before the earth pony in the expensive suit beside him leaned in and asked in a whisper: “You ready, champ?” “Don't call me that. I've told you so many times not to call me that.” Scrivener muttered in reply, and then he looked down at the book that sat on the desk in front of him, touching it almost gingerly. It was a hardcover, fairly large, and the title read: 'I Am, You Are.' The best name title the author could come up with... whose name, written in tiny font near the bottom of the cover, was Scrivener Blooms. The charcoal stallion smiled after a moment to himself, then he closed his eyes and rubbed silently over the title page before taking a slow breath and raising his head, nodding once. And with that, the speckled earth pony behind him patted the dark-coated stallion firmly on the shoulder, and Scrivener finally cleared his throat and stood up. He looked out over the audience as it fell silent, and he breathed slowly for a moment: he thought of the readings he had used to do on a regular basis to the Royal Court, and all the speeches he had helped write, and then he laughed a little and said the first thing that came to mind: “Horses of Heaven, I'm out of practice for stuff like this.” There were a few chuckles, and Scrivener felt himself loosening naturally up as he smiled, then said in a clear, carrying voice he hadn't used in years: “Hello, everypony, and... first off, thank you all for being here. I can't begin to express how honored I am by you all, by the interest that's been shown in this book by you and... of course, my very aggressive agent, Barry Barter.” A few more laughs, as the earth pony behind Scrivener half-grinned, half-glared, fidgeting awkwardly and smoothing down his expensive suit as Scrivener tossed a wink over his shoulder before looking back forwards over the audience, as he felt the last of his anxiousness vanishing: now that he was here, now that he was actually doing this, he wasn't scared. He was excited... even happy, in spite of how hard it was to think of all the things he wanted to say. But when he just let himself speak, all the words seemed to come out naturally... so he concentrated on talking, not thinking, as he continued: “My first book, Rose Thorns, sold... I think it was something like forty-thousand copies in total. I Am, You Are, has already sold more than ten times that, and that's just the pre-orders. And I am so proud to be privileged enough to be here today to sign and pass out the first of the copies of this book, to my friends and family and my patrons, to everypony who helped make this a success.” His agent cleared his throat quietly behind him, and Scrivener glanced mildly over his shoulder, letting the attention shift to the speckled earth pony and his eighty-dollar haircut again. The lanky stallion slowly tried to shrink his head into his expensive suit, but then Scrivener shook his own head and said easily: “Alright, alright. Since my good friend here is trying to remind me we're on a schedule and all, enough thank-yous for now, I'll do it at the get-together later. For now, for all the ponies who aren't quite sure what they're in for, I'm supposed to give you a summary of things. “This book...” Scrivener halted, looked down for a moment, then he smiled faintly and he stroked the cover slowly, saying softly: “This book is personal, which makes it all the more meaningful that people are so interested in it. But I'm not kidding myself that I'm any great writer, don't worry about that. I just happen to be lucky enough – or unlucky, depending on how you look at it, I guess – to be able to give a first-hoof account of the war we had with Decretum. And again, there was all the hype and advertising, thanks to the publisher. Plus... I know some pretty important ponies.” He smiled, looking back and forth, at Twilight Sparkle, then at Luna... and then into the audience as his eyes lingered on Celestia. She stood out: then again, she was twice the size of a normal pony, and her mane and tail were an ephemeral rainbow of colors, eternally shifting and flowing of their own accord. Her amethyst eyes met his for a moment as she smiled supportively back at him, and he gave the smallest of nods as he softened slightly: her once-eternally-present coronet and peytral plate were both missing. The only thing she wore was a pretty purple scarf, with the crest of the sun similar to her own cutie mark neatly embroidered into one loose end. Then Scrivener Blooms drew his eyes away, letting them draw over the rest of the audience as he continued calmly: “It still... strikes me hard every time I think of this, but the story begins more than thirty years ago, when Luna and I first met... before I was lucky enough to have met any of you, apart from Celestia and Twilight Sparkle. And the story is told from my point of view, how I got this scar, and followed Luna into our self-imposed exile to protect someone very dear to us, who we know now was only manipulated...” Scrivener returned a soft gaze to Celestia for a moment, before they roved to Luna, and he smiled. “But don't think for a second the story's all about me. It's about the pony I followed. The pony who saved us all.” Luna blushed and shifted, then Scrivener shook his head and returned his eyes to the audience, continuing: “I talk about the Velites and Veliuona, and how I came to be soulbound to Luna, and what that means.” Scrivener reached up, touching his own chest gently. “That I share one life, one soul, with my wife, and if she feels pain, I feel it; if I'm wounded, then the wound will appear on her, too. But we can also share thoughts and emotions and understand each other deeper than ever before. “I spend the brunt of the first half of the book on the journey many of you in this room took alongside Luna and I, though... when we became Starlit Knights. When we marched to the far north to stop the evil gathering there.” Scrivener stopped, then he smiled faintly and shook his head slowly. “And how unprepared we were for what we met. “I've done my best to detail what happened, in the most believable way possible. The Black Wolves that ravaged Equestria, and who was behind it all, Valthrudnir... like I did my best to talk about the decade Luna and I spent... helping rebuild Equestria. After the disaster.” Scrivener smiled a little. “On my publisher's advice I cut a lot of this out and wrote about it from a different angle: I focus on my life with Luna during those days a lot, and... how we managed to push through together. “Finally, I reach the stuff that I think is what gets the most interest. Decretum, the Clockwork World that Equestria went to war with, that to this very day we're still finding remnants of here and there.” Scrivener said quietly, nodding slowly. “Even though it was a war that most affected those here in this very room... it is also a war that affects all of Equestria to this day. And until all of Decretum's machinery is shut down once and for all, I don't think it'll ever be over, but... all the same, I'm not afraid. Because all of us have one-another, and it's that unity, that friendship, that I try to focus on. How we fought horrible monsters, how we faced off against destroyers and tyrants and awful things, and yet we survived because we all pulled together. Together, we're stronger than anything... and together, we can... we can even conquer ourselves.” Scrivener quieted, looking down at one hoof for a moment before he steeled himself and looked up, saying softly: “And the last part of the book is a sort of... a collection of short stories, many about those in this room. I think plenty of you remember that... me, knocking on your door one day to ask you all weird questions.” There were a few laughs at this, and then Scrivener smiled a little. “And to everyone who contributed... thank you. You trusted me to write some very personal stories... you let me share your stories with the world, and... I can't thank you enough for that. And as I think I promised a few of you, just like I wrote some of your stories into this book... I've written my own, too. “I want to think of I Am, You Are, not just as a history piece, or an autobiography, or even an account of the adventures of Luna and I, but... as a story that can help people. I know that's... that's bigheaded of me, but I think that if people read this, really read this, and listen in particular to the stories at the end and snuck in here and there to the accounts... people can learn something, about themselves and about others.” Scrivener quieted, then he nodded slowly and looked up, drawing his eyes over the crowd. “Because all of us are different... but we're all the same, too. We're like... puzzle pieces. If you can find just the right way to make things fit, you can form one great big picture. But otherwise it's just a jumble on the table.” He fell quiet, then cleared his throat and smiled a bit, looking back and forth. “Well, I guess that's about all I have to say, and you're all here for the book anyway, right? Might as well not spoil everything that's in it. Besides, a lot of you know all this stuff, from how the Nibelung came up out of the tunnels beneath Equestria, and became our allies after we drove back the darkness enslaving them, or how many demons and Phooka and Strange Ones are now trusted friends, because we can mutually benefit each other more through peace than war, and... misunderstandings have been remedied. So... let's get these books out, yeah?” Scrivener grinned awkwardly, and there were a few more laughs and some polite clapping and stomping of hooves, as the earth pony agent behind the stallion waved hurriedly at several assistants half-hiding in a library corridor. They immediately hurried inside, carrying enormous boxes of books that they put down beside the desk and opened, and Scrivener grimaced a bit as he sat down at the table as his agent muttered: “Nice job, champ, but come on, I thought we gave you a speech. You can't just wing it like this, you know that Underbrush won't like that.” “Yes, yes, writing is a business, I know.” Scrivener grumbled crankily back, glowering over his shoulder. “Don't forget that I gave you half my cut, I'm allowed to ramble a little if I want to.” The agent grumbled, and Scrivener reached out and grabbed his quill and inkwell, turning a smile outwards as Celestia approached the other side of the desk. One of the assistants hurriedly pulled a book out of the open box beside the desk and slid it in front of the charcoal stallion, but for a few moments the two ponies only studied each other before Celestia said softly: “I trust you told the truth.” “I did, Celestia. Although what I wrote before was true, too... this wasn't your fault.” Scrivener said softly, and the mare gave him a tender look. Then Scrivener smiled, flipping the book open and scrawling a short dedication and signature over the front page, murmuring: “You're the only pony I know who gets upset over being put in a better light over a worse one.” “Says the kettle to the pot.” Celestia replied, and the stallion couldn't hold back a wry grin, looking up at her with entertainment. “But... I have to be honest, Scrivener Blooms, it would be too easy to fall back into... the way things were before, to let things be buried again. But... I don't think I want things to be buried anymore.” She paused, then smiled softly, looking up. “I'm... happy, these days, Scrivener. I like having a steward in place so I can spend my days either in the library, or helping train the Starlit Knights. To be honest, it's been so many years since I last worked with people... I forgot how good it feels to truly teach. To not just set examples, but to truly... work with them and beside them.” Scrivener nodded slowly, then he closed the book and slid it across to her, and Celestia smiled slightly as her horn glowed, lifting it easily into the air as she said softly: “I'll see you tonight, brother.” “You too... sister.” Scrivener smiled warmly up at her as Celestia turned and headed off to speak to Luna, and with just a glance towards the sapphire mare, he could feel her joy and pride and warmth, beaming radiantly at her big sister as she approached. Scrivener fought down a blush as he turned his eyes back forwards, feeling... happy. It was impossible to describe any other way, the joy that flooded his system at the sight of Luna being so damn proud for him, so excited for this... silly thing he had written and gotten so lucky with. The stallion grinned a little as he turned his eyes back forwards, watching as a blue Pegasus with a short, messy rainbow mane and tail approached, grinning widely... before he yelped when he was body-checked out of the way by a gray-pink mare with a straight mane and tail, her eyes blue but rimmed in red, her sharp teeth displayed in a wide grin at the stunned Pegasus. Then the mare cracked her neck before approaching the table, straightening a bit almost as if to show off the tattooing of vines over the left side of her breast, entwined around the profile of an ash tree, a much clearer marking than the black and gray balloons on her flank. She looked like an earth pony... but the glare of her eyes and her intimidating presence did little to hide the fact she was a demon, as she asked moodily: “Just sucking up all the glory, aren't you?” “It's nice to see you too, Pinkamena.” Scrivener replied mildly, and then he flinched only slightly when the much-brighter twin sister of the demon seemed to pop out of thin air beside her, cotton candy mane and tail bouncing, a bright smile on the earth pony's features as she gazed radiantly at Scrivy. “And you too, Pinkie Pie.” A book slid in front of him as Pinkie Pie giggled, then said warmly: “It's been so many years! I mean, more for you than for us, but... I look around, and none of us look... too old, you know? And I wonder sometimes, is that because...” “Oh shut up, sissy, you don't have the brain capacity to think about anything except where your next sugar high is going to come from.” Pinkamena said moodily, but Pinkie Pie only smiled at her dark twin, who rolled her eyes as Scrivener signed the book. He slid it across the table to them, and Pinkamena swept it up and opened it, looking at the message he'd written inside the front cover before she grumbled and closed it, muttering: “Good enough, I guess. Come on, sissy.” “Lemon Drop, you gotta say 'thank you.'” Pinkie Pie complained, and Pinkamena groaned and only rolled her eyes storming off with the book before the bright pink mare turned her eyes back to Scrivener, giving him a warm smile. “Well, you know she is anyway, right?” “Of course. She and I are good friends, after all.” Scrivener replied with a smile, and Pinkie Pie nodded firmly before bouncing happily off, and the stallion shook his head before grinning as the blue Pegasus approached with a surly glower in the direction the demon had walked off in. “Hey, you should count yourself lucky.” “Real funny, Scrivy.” the Pegasus replied mildly, his magenta eyes looking meditatively down at the charcoal stallion as his strong wings flapped once, then furled at his sides. He shifted back and forth, making his cutie mark of a cloud releasing a bolt of rainbow-colored lighting seem to ripple, before he cleared his throat and added in a quieter voice: “And uh... hey. Thanks for... you know.” “No, Rainbow Dash. Thank you.” Scrivener said in a softer voice, smiling as he took the next book offered from the assistant, jotting a quick note and signature. Then he closed it and slid it across the desk, meeting the eyes of the Pegasus. “It meant a lot to add your story to the collection. And I think it's going to be one of the most helpful ones in the whole book.” Rainbow only grunted, shifting lamely back and forth before he quickly picked the book up, then nodded and held up a front hoof, and Scrivener tapped his own against it. “I'll be looking forwards to tonight. Been a long time since we had a big get together.” “Too long.” Scrivener agreed, nodding, and then he smiled when Rainbow Dash strode off and the next pony approached: a goldenrod mare with her blonde mane braided tightly back in a ponytail, a well-worn cowboy hat on her head. Her green eyes looked at him with warmth, and for a moment he studied her, how healthy and strong she looked, even her cutie mark of three red apples seeming to gleam. “You know, I'm only supposed to give away one per family, originally. Publishers were pretty cranky when I insisted on free copies for all of you.” “Well, I can't share books with Rainbow, he wears 'em to pieces. I reckon you understand what that's like.” Applejack replied easily, and Scrivener nodded thoughtfully as he glanced towards Twilight for a moment before turning his eyes back to the earth pony mare, as she added softly: “And hey, even if Rainbow said it and I know you're gonna hear it a whole lot... thanks.” “I've never been thanked so often for writing people's embarrassing moments down before. Especially since already half a million or something ponies are going to be getting copies of this book over the coming week.” Scrivy replied mildly, and Applejack laughed and shook her head, and he finally nodded and gave her a warm look. “Okay, okay. I... I really appreciate it, Applejack. Still, you're the ones who should get the thanks here, not me. Writing it all down... that was the easy part.” “Don't have time for small talk.” half-muttered the literary agent behind Scrivener, and the charcoal stallion sighed tiredly and rolled his eyes before glaring over his shoulder at the expensively-dressed stallion, who winced a bit but held up a hoof. “Look, champ, it's true! We gotta get these books signed and passed out, then you gotta meet with the press, and then we gotta make nice and rub elbows with some very important ponies. Seriously, do you want to screw this up?” “Yes.” Scrivener said blandly, and Applejack snorted in amusement before the stallion turned his eyes back to her and pushed the book he had just finished signing across the table, smiling amusedly. “Sorry, AJ. Looks like everything will have to wait until tonight. Tell Big Mac I have a copy for him, too.” “Will do, Scrivy. See you tonight.” Applejack smiled at him kindly, turning to leave, and Scrivener shook his head before sighing loudly even as another friendly, familiar face approached when his agent tapped him firmly on the shoulder. All the same, he played along for the most part: a few ponies he couldn't resist holding short conversations with all the same, his agent grumbling at him to hurry up, hurry up every time he did so. But once the familiar faces were gone, and Scrivener was autographing for nobles and patrons and ponies who had helped with this process but he didn't really know, he moved much faster, signing what he was asked to but sparing little extra time. When the last pony strode away, Scrivener glanced curiously at the assistant, who dug in the box before pulling out three extra copies. The stallion smiled as he reached out to take one of these, writing a short note in it and ignoring his agent as the expensive-clothed stallion whined: “Wait, wait, you're supposed to send the extras back to the company!” “No, I'm gonna give one to a friend and... one we can just leave here and... uh... hey, you like to read?” Scrivener glanced over at the assistant, who looked surprised but nodded hesitantly, and Scrivener reached out to grab one of the books, opening it and autographing it with his name and a short thank you before sliding it over to him. “There you go.” His agent gave a shrill whistle of frustration through his teeth as the unicorn assistant grabbed the book with a warm smile and nod, mumbling his thanks before he turned and hurried away. Then Scrivener glanced over his shoulder at the literary agent, studying him thoughtfully for a few moments before he said mildly: “I've decided I don't want to take questions from the press.” For a few moments, the literary agent only stared at him... and then the smaller earth pony ground his teeth together in frustration before stomping out in front of the desk, calling in a voice that was very clearly faking the cheer in it: “Okay, okay, everypony clear out now, unless you have a press pass! Scrivener Blooms is now going to be taking and answering questions, very important stuff here, people! Isn't that right, big time author?” Scrivener yawned loudly and openly in response, making his agent glare furiously at him. But as ponies with cameras and notepads hurried up towards the front of the room, Scrivener sat up a little and looked grouchily up, smoothing out his jacket as Twilight and Luna both approached him. The agent sighed in relief, then smiled wider when he turned his eyes back to the crowd, holding up a hoof and calling quickly, as cameras flashed and ponies leaned forwards eagerly: “Okay guys, come on, settle down! Big day today and all, and Mr. Blooms is on a tight schedule, very tight! We only have time for a few questions, so you guys better make 'em count!” “He's abusing exclamation marks, I can hear it in his voice.” Scrivener muttered more to himself than anyone else, but Luna snickered a little all the same as she drew a bit closer, before the charcoal stallion sighed as he carefully sat up before smiling wryly over the crowd of reporters, critics, and other newsponies. More had come in from outside, and they almost filled the room... and for a moment, the charcoal stallion felt both pride and a strange nostalgia. When he'd published Rose Thorns, after all, there had been three press ponies in total... and one of those had been the son of one of the reporters, who had been about five years old and stared at him the entire time he had been interviewed. Scrivener shook his head out a bit, opening his mouth... before glaring at his agent when the expensive-clothed pony pointed at one of the posher-looking reporters, clearly from one of the larger newspapers or national magazines. “You, sir, what's your question?” The well-dressed reporter looked pleased, and then he rose his notepad, asking quickly: “Your book deals heavily with relationships, is that correct?” “Yes, it does.” Scrivener sat up a bit, then he glanced softly back and forth between Luna and Twilight before turning his eyes forwards. “I deal pretty extensively with both typical romantic relationships, as well as... more atypical ones.” “Like the one you're rumored to have yourself, which is discussed in detail in the book, isn't it?” the reporter slipped in, and Scrivener winced a bit before he shook himself out a bit, then sat up, hating the way everyone was greedily looking at him. He felt Luna's tenseness too, and Twilight was blushing a little, not so much embarrassed as uncomfortable at the attention they were getting... But Scrivener Blooms nodded once, answering as calmly as he could despite wishing he could keep his private life private: “That's correct. I go into detail about my own relationship... my own fortune... to be involved in a polyamorous relationship with both Luna Brynhild and Twilight Sparkle, and none of us here are ashamed of that. We don't advertise it or shove it in other ponies' faces, but... we aren't ashamed of it, either. And Horses of Heaven know how proud and lucky I am.” Scrivener looked softly over his shoulder at Twilight, who gazed down at him with warmth and joy in her eyes, blushing quietly as she reached a hoof up to touch his shoulder, and Luna grunted in agreement on Scrivener's other side, grinning widely before she added cheerfully: “Aye, 'tis a true fortune indeed. I get two gorgeous wives to do the housework for me, how many others can boast of such luck?” Scrivener sighed and rolled his eyes as there were a few laughs from the crowd, and Scrivener's agent gave a strained grin before he said hurriedly: “It's a question discussed... in great detail in the story, definitely worth a read so uh... we shouldn't linger too much on that or we'll give away all the romance! Uh... yes, yes, you there, what do you got for us?” “Actually, my question is for Miss Twilight Sparkle.” said the reporter, smiling politely as he reached up and brushed at his long, thin mustache, his eyes calculating as he studied the violet mare. “Let's put this rumor across Equestria to rest once and for all: is it true that you are, in reality, an... undead construct, some kind of golem created during the war with Clockwork World?” Twilight flushed slightly, shifting a bit, and Scrivener could feel the ache that went through her as he immediately sat up and Luna's eyes narrowed. But then the violet mare grasped Scrivy's shoulder, squeezing into it silently before she looked up and said quietly: “I'm not a construct, put together by Celestia. I prefer to think of myself as a pony... even if I am something different now. I died many years ago now, during the war with Decretum, but I... was saved by a dear friend.” The reporters were quickly writing notes, and Scrivener's agent tugged nervously at his collar before wincing over his shoulder at the look on Scrivener's face: had he been a little less concerned about his paycheck, he would have understood that the look on Luna's face was what was most worrying at the moment. “Okay now, please, let's stick to questions for the writer, and... uh... try and stick to things that might not be answered in the big ol' book, eh, guys? You, you in the back, what's on your mind? Something more to the point I hope, yeah?” The Pegasus who was fluttering around near the back wall with his hoof raised desperately sighed in relief, and then he asked quickly, calling over the milling crowd: “Mr. Blooms, what... drove you to write this book? You're a poet first and foremost, right? So why did you choose this extensive format for-” “Okay, come on, kid, we got limited time here.” the literary agent cut off, looking irritable, but Scrivener shook his head and struck the desk firmly, getting the attention of the other ponies. “No, it's okay, I wanna answer this one. That's the first good question that's been asked.” Scrivener said mildly, then he smiled pleasantly at the glowers the other reporters favored him as they began to hurriedly write down likely-unpleasant notes about him. His agent glared at him horribly, but Scrivener ignored the look as he took a moment to gather his thoughts, before looking up and saying softly: “I am a poet, first and foremost. I don't think that will ever change... but I got a lot of practice rewriting stories when I worked for Celestia in the old days, and after that, when I lived with Luna, I spent a lot of time... learning and evolving my writing style while compiling a history of their brother, Sleipnir. “This book came about, what drove me to use this mix of autobiography and collected stories from other ponies, is the fact that I already had so many of these notes recorded in a giant sheaf of papers I came across a few years ago, while we were... moving back into our home.” Scrivener smiled over his shoulder at Luna, who gazed fondly back as the memories tickled through both their minds. “Luna and I... we were gone for almost a decade, after all. We were... lost, after-” “Okay, okay, chief, hate to cut you off but you're gonna ruin the ending of the book.” the agent interjected, and Scrivener slowly turned a glower on the lanky earth pony, who pointedly ignored it as he looked ahead and said quickly: “Come on, we only got the time for a few more questions so... make 'em count! Yeah, you there, feather hat!” The mare looked up with a wide smile, reaching up to adjust the ridiculous, floppy hat on her head with the tall feather standing out of it. “Why, thank you. Mr. Blooms, I'm Ersatz Major, critical analyst for Rogues And Studs, your source for the newest sensations and latest flops.” “That's a mouthful. Also not really a question.” Scrivener remarked mildly, and Ersatz only continued to smile even as Scrivener's literary agent paled. But Scrivener kept himself smiling, even as he waited for what he was somehow sure was coming. “So what would you like to know?” “Is it true that along with your hedonistic lifestyle, you have a history of substance abuse problems and illness?” asked Ersatz curiously, and Scrivener's agent squeaked as the charcoal stallion himself stared and reared back, caught off guard before Ersatz smiled almost kindly as she leaned forwards, but her eyes were predatory and vicious as she asked in a falsely-kind voice: “Well, you were admitted for extensive private testing at an expensive private medical clinic in Canterlot, yes? Why, I believe that Celestia, then the acting Baroness, paid for the entire process herself... and she also got you a nice position at Canterlot University, where I believe you caused quite a bit of mischief. There were allegations of drug use, weren't there? And wasn't there something about child abuse, that you were seen chasing your own son through the halls while he screamed?” “You do a lot of homework.” Scrivener said softly, his features tense, his eyes narrowed before he slowly stood up, as Luna snarled and Twilight simply looked horrified. “And I doubt you're interested in my answers. But I guess smearing me is easier and makes for a more interesting article for your readers, right?” Ersatz smiled calmly, remarking easily: “None of that sounds like a denial to me, Scrivener Blooms... and why, it's quite a book, I won't deny that. Fantastic, and I do mean that literally... most of it seems impossible, like the product of a very damaged, sick mind... and with your very questionable past, and your... strange present...” Her eyes flicked slowly over Luna and Twilight, and Scrivener saw her lick her lips slightly, the earth pony restraining himself as best he could. He could feel Luna trembling, her fury, while Twilight was just trying to keep her head down, breathing hard and looking hurt. His agent was staring at him pleadingly, and Scrivener grimaced before he forced himself to look up, studying Ersatz silently. She was a unicorn: he couldn't see her horn with her big hat, but he instinctively knew, just like he knew she was a pureblood. Her eyes were an awful shade of pale blue that almost seemed hollow, and her coat was a mossy dark green. But her hat was pink, and she had a big, ridiculous pink bow around her neck, and a matching pink bow near the end of her tail, and her cutie mark was... carefully covered by a pink skirt. Purposefully, he thought. The two looked at each other for a few moments, and Scrivener shook his head out before he said calmly: “Your story's missing a few facts. One, I'm a drunk, not a drug addict.” Scrivener made his voice a little haughty, almost turning it into a joke, and as always it earned a few stares and stupid looks from ponies who were knocked off guard by the statement. “Two, I had health problems, yes. And you know, a crazy writer isn't anything new anyway. Three, following chasing my screaming, hallucinating son through the halls, I punched the crap out of a chimera in front of a lecture hall full of students. Now if that doesn't say I love the kid and would do anything to protect him, I don't know what does.” “Yes, violence is a wonderful way to show affection.” Ersatz replied pleasantly, looking unfettered, and Scrivener felt the urge to leap over the desk and strangle her even as part of him felt impressed at the same time. Whatever else, he had to admit that she was good. Definitely evil, yes, but definitely not an amateur when it came to her job. “So is it true you provided sexual favors for Baroness Celestia in return for what she provided you?” Scrivener's better judgment told him not to reply; unfortunately, his mouth was already speaking before he could stop himself, voice dripping sarcasm as he answered: “Oh yes, every single day I was in Canterlot. And I know what you're thinking, that I must have had the time of my life, but let's just say that between the riding crop and many other unspeakable things, my poor tush is never going to be the same.” “Okay, that's enough for now, we have to move on, get going, publishers are waiting!” Scrivener's agent all-but-howled, glaring horribly over at Scrivener. The charcoal stallion, however, had his own eyes locked on Ersatz, who was looking back at him with her calm, arrogant smile before she gave him a slow wink, then turned and strutted off. “Let us kill her, Scrivy. Let me call a demon to eat her alive.” Luna grumbled, and Scrivener was half-tempted to agree as even Twilight looked moodily after the critic. Then Scrivener sighed loudly as his agent stormed over, but Luna immediately reached out and snagged the lanky earth pony by the collar, hefting him into the air with one hoof as she asked darkly: “And did thou plan for this to happen, for us to be made a spectacle of?” “No! No! But... but hey, all publicity... good publicity!” wheezed the agent, grinning weakly as he lost all his bravado under the furious look of the sapphire mare. Then he grunted as she dropped back to his hooves, hurriedly adjusting his collar as he stepped back and looked at the trio nervously. “Uh... we... come on, champ, you and your lucky ladies can go to dinner now... hey, have I ever said that... yeah, sure, you might not be the most normal ponies but I am so totally jealous of you, big guy? I mean, two lucky ladies, two mares, and look at me, I can't even-” “Shut up.” Scrivener said moodily, and the literary agent closed his mouth with a wince before Scrivener sighed and dropped his head forwards, mumbling: “Fine. Fine, let's just... go get this fancy meeting underway. Twilight, you don't have to come if you don't want to. Luna, you can uh. Hide, too.” But Luna only gave him a pointed look, and Twilight smiled supportively as she touched his shoulder gently, and the stallion nodded in thanks and relief. Then he sighed a little, hanging his head and wondering morbidly if this was all going to really be worth it. Top ↑